#☀︎ — seonho & jules

[ameliiorate]

☀︎ — closed starter for @fadinglights / from Seonho to Jules

After speaking with Joonho, Seonho has prepped himself to finally be upfront with Jules, asking her to meet at the cafe rather than going through with her brother's suggestion to have him ditch a plan meant for the three of them. He wants to approach this with all of the honesty and sincerity that he can muster. Continuing to keep his feelings a secret would be a disservice to himself, and he has to trust that his friendship with Jules is concrete enough that it can withstand the possible blow that might come with her rejecting him. He's ready for that possibility, and is more mindful of her feelings than he is of his own, not wanting to pressure her in any way. "So do you have any makeup sessions planned for this weekend?" Seonho begins, first asking about Jules' work and readying himself to segue into what he wants to talk about. His hand curls around his lemonade, taking a sip to wet his cracked lips. "Because if you aren't busy, I was thinking...maybe the two of us could do something?" It's not uncommon for them to spend time together, but he doesn't want this to be a normal hangout between them.

[ameliiorate]

Seonho shouldn't have come either. They run in the same circle of friends, but it's not like it would be unexpected for him to miss the celebration. He's often busy working, and no one would have thought anything of it if he hadn't been able to attend. But he had promised that if things went south with Jules that it wouldn't spell the end of their friendship, and he doesn't want them to ignore each other. It's just been easier to give her space, to let her pull away from him if that's her choice. Even if it hurts, an ache radiating through him. He had thought that things had been going well, almost too well, and it's not like they had gotten far before it had all come to a grinding halt. Seonho doesn't know what to make of it, confused and disheartened yet still able to put on a smile, greeting his friends as he makes his way around the room with a drink in hand. Working on building his confidence to approach Jules and be casual about it, when he finally does let his gaze glance over to her, he approaches carefully, recognizing her ex and not wanting to disturb the conversation while also recognizing that Jules does not look pleased. Ears catch the tail end of the heated chat over the noise of the party, and before he thinks too much about the action, he intercepts and places his body between Jules and her ex just as the ex reaches for her. "I believe she asked you to leave her alone."

jules  shouldn't  have  come  at  all.  if  she  had  known  she  would  encounter  both  her  ex  and  seonho  at  the  party,  she  wouldn't  have  shown  up.  however,  the  only  silver  lining  is  that  her  brother  is  away  on  a  trip  with  his  friends,  so  there  would  be  one  less  witness  to  the  impending  chaos  that  she  had  a  feeling  would  unfold  tonight.  her  attempt  to  escape  is  thwarted  by  her  ex's  interference,  and  with  every  word  he  utters,  she  can  feel  her  patience  slipping  away.  although  some  remnants  of  the  pain  remain,  she  fails  to  comprehend  how  she  could  have  fallen  so  deeply  for  someone  who,  in  retrospect,  is  completely  wrong  for  her.  but  as  sick  as  it  may  sound,  perhaps  that's  part  of  the  allure:  to  experience  pain  and  receive  it  in  return,  to  derive  from  yet  another  unfortunate  incident  the  notion  that  love  is  an  elusive  concept  beyond  reach.  "i  thought  i  had  made  it  perfectly  clear  the  last  time  we  met."  she  hisses,  her  voice  like  a  serpent  ready  to  strike.  not  wanting  to  attract  unnecessary  attention  to  their  conversation  during  what  should  be  a  celebratory  occasion,  she  lowers  her  voice,  but  anger  simmers  beneath  the  surface  as  her  patience  dwindles.  "which  part  of  leaving  me  alone  don't  you  understand?" / @ameliiorate

[ameliiorate]

As the date approaches, Seonho grows restless with an anxious energy. While he has taken that leap of faith, he still wonders if he will stick the landing, and the first date needs to go well, he thinks, if there is any hope for what he and Jules can be together. Having a chance to explore his feelings is exhilarating as much as it is nerve-wrecking, and he spends too much time worrying about every swoop of his growing hair as he worked to gel it in the mirror prior to their arranged meeting. All of his efforts wound up being for naught, however, as the heat of spring and his rushed pace had him sweating at his temples as he arrived early at the restaurant. His hair puffed up and curled at the edges, and after messing around with the strands as he waits is a futile effort. But it at least gives him something to do as the time ticks by, pacing uncontrollably, needing to do something with himself in order to stop the tirade of intruding thoughts. What if she had changed her mind last minute? He wouldn't have blamed her. He knows that they are taking a chance, and that this could impact their friendship in ways that he isn't prepared for, but he is as ready as he is going to be to confront his feelings, and to showcase to Jules that he could be something other than her friend. When she arrives, the smile he greets her with starts lopsided before it grows. "No need to apologize," he breathes out shakily, indicating to the host that they are ready to be seated. "I wasn't waiting long at all..." A little fib, but he doesn't want her to feel bad as they are guided toward the back to a corner table. "We need to get you some water..." His eyes travel over her form, smile softening as it brightens. "You look beautiful." He pulls out a chair for her to sit.

she  can't  stop  thinking  about  it  since  being  asked  out  on  a  date.  the  mutual  crush  has  been  lingering  and  ignored  for  months,  so  it  feels  dizzying  that  change  has  finally  arrived.  despite  her  anticipation,  a  more  pessimistic  side  of  herself  wonders  if  she's  taken  too  great  of  a  risk  by  agreeing.  what  if  this  eventually  leads  to  the  end  of  their  friendship?  while  it  isn't  hard  for  jules  to  make  friends,  it's  rare  for  her  to  keep  them,  and  seonho  has  become  someone  significant  in  her  life  even  before  the  romantic  feelings  developed.  but  if  it's  worth  it  for  him  to  take  the  risk  and  ask  her  out,  she'll  try  to  be  brave  too  and  see  where  the  possibility  takes  them.  a  combination  of  her  wandering  thoughts  and  her  elaborate  preparation  routine  has  led  her  to  this  moment  —  dashing  to  the  restaurant  at  full  speed  after  getting  off  the  taxi  two  blocks  away,  frustrated  that  it  hasn’t  moved  in  the  past  five  minutes  due  to  the  jammed  traffic.  "oh  my  god  —  i'm  so  sorry."  she  blurts  out  sheepishly  once  she  reaches  him  outside  the  restaurant  at  last.  she's  only  a  few  minutes  late,  but  watching  as  the  anxiety  in  his  eyes  slowly  fades  away  in  her  presence  is  enough  to  make  her  feel  guilty.  "i  tried  to  hurry,  but  the  traffic  was  just  so  bad."  she  explains,  her  chest  still  heaving  from  the  sprint  as  she  fans  herself  to  cool  off  her  reddened  cheeks.  "you  haven't  been  waiting  too  long,  have  you?"

[ameliiorate]

"I think in order to win the lottery, we have to buy into it first." And Seonho doesn't have money to waste on scratch tickets or anything of the like. But it would be nice if his money problems could be solved in an instant. His financial stresses aren't at the forefront of his mind in the moment, though, too giddy and elated that Jules had been so quickly accepting of the suggestion of them going on a date. He rests his head on drawn up arms, long eyelashes fluttering as he regards Jules fondly, so very ready to embark on this journey with her. Saturday could not come fast enough, his belly still fluttering with nerves despite her agreement. This is only the first step, and if the date doesn't go well...well, Seonho shakes his head of those kind of pessimistic thoughts and instead clings to his optimism. "Saturday night at 6 sounds perfect to me." He's glad that his siblings are all at an age now that he doesn't have to worry about them being home alone on a Saturday night. "I can meet you there." While he would like to offer to pick her up, maybe it would be good to start casual, and see where the night takes them. "I'll make sure to come hungry so we can indulge to our heart's content." And he might take some Dramamine too, just in case she decides to be a little adrenaline-seeking and want to go on any rides. He wiggles excitedly in his seat, unable to stop moving, and reaching over to squeeze her hand. "I'm really looking forward to it...now...I should call your brother and tell him it's okay for him to come back."

"dear  universe,"  jules  begins  dramatically,  taking  a  deep  breath  and  intertwining  her  fingers  as  she  closes  her  eyes.  "i  am  truly  ready  to  win  the  lottery."  the  idea  of  swapping  lives  with  her  brother's  cat  flits  through  her  mind,  but  she  dismisses  it  with  a  wistful  smile,  knowing  it's  just  a  whimsical  thought.  was  she  too  impulsive  in  accepting  the  proposition?  what  if  it  turns  out  to  be  a  mistake  and  their  friendship  suffers?  would  the  potential  heartache  outweigh  the  benefits?  despite  these  doubts,  anticipation  has  overridden  her  fears,  and  all  she  can  focus  on  is  the  endearing  glow  in  his  eyes.  "that  would  have  been  an  unwise  move."  she  remarks  playfully.  desserts  are  an  absolute  necessity,  and  her  mood  noticeably  brightens  once  she  indulges  in  her  sugary  treats.  not  that  her  mood  ever  stays  sour  for  long  when  she's  in  seonho's  presence.  he  has  a  similar  effect  as  desserts  —  a  dash  of  sunshine  that  can  brighten  anyone's  day  with  his  genuine  smile  and  caring  demeanour.  "how  about  saturday  night,  around  6  p.m.?"  she  suggests,  determined  to  be  punctual,  even  though  her  track  record  isn't  exactly  reassuring.  it's  not  that  she  doesn't  want  to  be  on  time,  but  as  a  professional  makeup  artist,  the  process  of  making  herself  presentable  involves  various  meticulous  steps.  "oh…  that  sounds  tempting."  she  nods  with  a  smile.  "and  if  we're  lucky,  we  might  even  catch  a  glimpse  of  the  cherry  blossoms  in  full  bloom."

[ameliiorate]

"That's the trap that we're stuck in," Seonho hums, the endless cycle and routine admittedly exhausting. Yet he never complains, not wanting to jinx it. As if speaking of his struggles would somehow add to them. That tends to often be the case for the cycle of his life. It had been on the list of reason that he had hesitated to do something about his feelings for Jules, so her teasing now is met with a raspy laugh. He should have asked a lot sooner, but building up the nerve had taken some time. Until he got to the point where he had to say something or he would burst. Their friendship is a well-established dynamic, the playful nature between them natural, and he hadn't been certain that Jules could see him as a romantic prospect. Fearful that she might see him more like another brother, so be proven wrong is awing. And all he can do is continue to laugh. "Do you think I'd have us go to a place that didn't have great dessert?" While he's never been, he's heard the rave reviews even from the people that he's picked up from the restaurant while Ubering. "What time do we want to go?" He unlocks his phone to be ready to type out a text to make the reservation for them. "The carnival would be fun! Hana and Melody went last weekend and they said that they serve deep fried cotton candy now?" They had just spoken of indulging in gelato, but there's no such thing as too many sweets for Seonho, and he's already envisioning them walking around the gaming vendors hand-in-hand.

"i  deserve  more  than  just  a  mini  hibernation."  jules  agrees  wholeheartedly  with  a  nod.  "too  bad  i  have  to  work  just  to  keep  a  roof  over  my  head."  she  can't  count  the  times  she  wishes  she  were  a  cat  instead,  given  shelter  just  for  being  cute  and  lazing  about.  "maybe  you  should  have."  she  teases  with  a  cryptic  smile.  it  would  save  her  from  a  few  dates  that  ended  up  being  a  waste  of  her  time  in  the  recent  months,  not  that  she's  actively  seeking  them  in  the  first  place.  she  never  told  anyone,  but  maybe  part  of  the  reason  why  none  of  the  dates  interested  her  long  enough  was  because  her  mind  kept  drifting  back  to  him.  she  fails  to  recall  when  their  friendship  has  transformed  into  something  more,  and  she  wonders  if  she  ever  saw  seonho  purely  platonically  at  all.  perhaps  there's  always  a  part  of  her  that's  more  drawn  to  him  than  others,  despite  her  blissful  ignorance.  she  rests  her  head  on  her  palm  as  she  watches  him  fret.  is  it  bad  that  she  finds  him  even  more  endearing  when  he's  like  this?  "sounds  good.”  she  welcomes  the  suggestion  before  asking  with  anticipation.  "do  they  have  great  gelato?"  because  desserts  always  matter  the  most  in  every  meal.  despite  the  many  complaints  she  may  have  about  her  brother  (all  in  good  fun,  of  course),  one  thing  she  can  never  fault  him  for  is  his  exceptional  baking  skills  and  the  constant  supply  of  delicious  cakes.  "maybe  we  can  go  to  the  carnival  afterward?  it’ll  be  fun."  

[ameliiorate]

"You have earned a mini hibernation," Seonho comments, though he is hoping to disturb her weekend rest with their plans. If he ends up falling flat on his face after this leap of faith, then he too will be spending the weekend trying to sleep off his heartbreak. He could admittedly use the rest regardless, but he is too hyped up to be held back by his exhaustion. He can't afford to hold back anymore, to keep waiting and expect that something will happen between he and Jules. This is the first time in a long time that Seonho has gone after something that he wants, that he has taken steps forward rather than continuing to stand still. He expects to have to explain himself, to go into what his feelings are, to be more transparent and upfront with Jules, and he is gobsmacked when he doesn't have to do any of that for her to be agreeable. His mouth falls slack, and he stares too long at her glistening lips with his Adam's apple bobbling. He only swallows when she leans in close, and his breath hitches, caught in his throat as his brain short-circuits. "I should have asked sooner then..." But it's not something that he had the confidence to do, especially not when he had seen Jules date others as his feelings had grown. It hadn't been until recently that he had thought that they could have a chance to be something more than they are. Tingles dance along his spine, and he can't help the laughter that bubbles through him. His neck is red, and he scratches at it as he admits, "I hadn't gotten that far...I wasn't sure if you would say yes...but I thought we could start with dinner? There's this nice Italian place that I've heard about that serves fresh pasta...I know some people there that could get us a reservation."

"and i  really  need  more  sleep."  others  wouldn't  be  able  to  tell  just  by  looking  at  her,  thanks  to  her  skill  as  a  fantastic  makeup  artist.  that's  one  of  the  reasons  she  initially  wanted  to  pursue  this  career  –  it's  a  practical  skill  that's  incredibly  useful  even  if  she  doesn't  make  it  her  lifelong  profession.  she  looks  at  him  skeptically,  noting  the  doubt  in  his  voice,  and  gives  a  nod  in  response  to  his  suggestion.  joonho  is  a  grown  man,  so  he'll  reach  out  if  he  needs  anything.  her  hazel  eyes  focus  on  seonho  again,  and  both  his  voice  and  posture  betray  his  nerves,  though  she  hasn't  fully  grasped  the  meaning  behind  them  just  yet.  her  eyes  widen  when  seonho  takes  her  hand,  and  his  subsequent  words  catch  her  by  surprise.  unexpected  would  be  a  more  fitting  word  for  it.  can  she  say  that  she  didn't  see  it  coming  at  all?  not  exactly.  can  she  admit  that  she  both  fears  and  anticipates  it?  perhaps.  she's  well-aware  of  her  own  romantic  history,  and  she  wonders  if  she  can  afford  to  break  a  heart  as  pure  as  seonho's.  but  at  this  moment,  the  excitement  outweighs  the  doubts.  "a  date?"  she  repeats,  as  if  she's  still  processing  his  words.  "a  date-date?"  her  pink  lips  curl  into  a  smile,  and  a  visible  spark  glimmers  in  her  eyes.  leaning  closer  to  his  end  of  the  table,  she  whispers  in  his  ear,  shielding  her  mouth  as  if  sharing  a  secret.  "i  thought  you'd  never  ask."  she  settles  back  into  her  chair,  suppressing  a  chuckle  as  she  notices  the  faint  blush  on  his  cheeks.  adorable.  he's  adorable.  "where  should  we  go?"

[ameliiorate]

"Taking some time for yourself is good," Seonho agrees with a nod, thinking the time off will help Jules recuperate after all the stress. He does work throughout the weekend, but he's carved out time for Saturday in case this goes well. And if it doesn't, well, he will use that time off to stare up at his ceiling and mope around until he's over his feelings. He doubts it will be that easy considering the depths of his affections for Jules, but he refuses to let his feelings be an obstacle in their friendship. "Well, I was thinking..." He trails, suddenly deciding that he should shift gears. His mouth clamps shut momentarily and his eyes fall out the window, following Jules' gaze and thoughts drifting. The pouring rain could be a foreboding sign, and maybe he should back out now and not risk what he has with Jules for the potential of what they could be. "I, uh, yeah, I think he took one." His brows furrow as he considers Joonho who had been kind enough to depart long enough to allow Jules and Seonho this moment. He couldn't let his friend's efforts be in vein, right? Particularly not when he's actually pretty sure that Joonho did not take an umbrella. "If he's not here in a bit, we can call him, but before that..." Jittery, Seonho bounces his leg underneath the table, and he reaches out his hand to brush against one of Jules'. Then he lunges forward in a leap of faith. "I was thinking that maybe you and I could go out this Saturday on a date." A hand scratches at the base of his neck, and he can't stop himself from moving. His nerves are all over the place, but he makes it a point to keep his gaze steady where it meets hers.

"no,  i'm  glad  i  allowed  myself  a  weekend  off  after  everything  that  happened  last  week."  jules  sighs.  she's  already  vented  enough  about  her  previous  gig that  gave  her  more  grey  hair  than  what  it’s  worth.  it  will  take  her  a  while  before  she  agrees  to  do  another  wedding  gig,  whether  it's  a  favour  for  someone  or  not.  working  with  brides  has  proven  to  be  more  challenging  compared  to  working  with  artists  and  shooting  directors,  who  usually  have  a  clearer  vision  and  are  less  on  the  edge.  "what  do  you  want  to  do?"  she  asks,  a  curious  smile  adorning  her  tinted  lips.  she's  unaware  of  what's  about  to  happen,  as  hanging  out  with  seonho  has  become  a  common  occurrence.  perhaps  one  might  question  how  frequently  they  see  each  other  and  how  their  relationship  has  grown  closer  over  the  months,  but  she's  let  that  question  slide  every  time  it  arises.  delicately  manicured  fingers  gently  stir  the  straw  in  her  salted  caramel  drink  as  her  gaze  drifts  towards  the  wall  of  windows,  where  raindrops  splatter  and  create  a  mosaic  of  colours,  making  the  outside  world  appear  surreal.  "i  wonder  why  he's  taking  so  long."  joonho  has  gone  out  to  shop  for  groceries  for  their  dinner,  but  it's  taking  longer  than  usual.  she  hasn't  mentioned  it,  fearing  an  earful  from  either  of  them,  but  her  drink  is  the  first  meal  of  the  day  for  her,  given  how  hectic  her  schedule  has  been.  “he  did  take  an  umbrella  when  he  headed  out,  right?"